Saturday, December 26, 2009

A time to reflect

Here I sit with a nice warm pussy in my lap watching Live free or die harder and playing Poker while typing this blog and think about the past year....well actually wonder based on an earlier conversation this year if I in fact have multi-tasking at it's finest moment is a better term for this. ADD is something that could have been used to describe me for the past 35 years, active is a much better term for what I got. I have been looking through the boxing day sales today and trying to find a second LCD monitor to allow me to better multi-task at my home office PC, if you find a steal, let me know.

Back on topic. This past year has brought many a moments of clarity to my life be it starting the new position with RIM or the various opportunities for travel that has been presented this year. Enjoying old friendships and cultivating new ones. My poker game has gained in skill which I hope to bring back to the live games with upcoming trips to the mecca that Las Vegas provides, damn I am looking forward to it.

It has been a treat of year in 2009 and I fully expect 2010 to be equally gratifying. Disney world for a 4 year olds birthday is certainly going to be a highlight of the year. Likely signing off until the new year or when I have finally made the plunge on a second lcd..

Thursday, December 24, 2009

What are you thinking?

So I made the mistake of heading out to the grocery store and liquor store today. Just browsing the shelves of the liquor store actually. I cam across a small bottle of blueberry vodka and said, that would make a great stocking stuffer for my wife. Fortunately for me it was attached to a 750ml bottle of crown royal. What a great fortune for me as I bought it :)

I then ventured into Sobeys (KW grocery chain), the place was a zoo as expected, unbelieveably though the checkout was very efficient for this time of year so I have to give kudos to the Sobeys staff for making my trip a pleasant one.

I then visited our village bakery where they had 2 fresh baked Dutch Peach pies all ready for me ( I had been there earlier in the day and asked and they were just baking them and put 2 aside), nothing like the smell of a fresh baked peach pie...yummy.

Christmas is here which means it is almost over, thank god...if you actually believe there is one...which is another conversation.

Merry Christmas all.


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Feeling like a rock star!

I had the greatest of pleasures today...this is a clean post so let me start again... My daughters daycare asked if I would volunteer to play Santa (one oh his helpers as he couldn't make it), I purchased a beard and wig as the loaner was nasty, dawned the old but appropriate costume and made my way over to the centre. I didn't know what to expect, figured it would be the range of emotions over there and they didn't disappoint.

The look of pure awe and excitement was something I had never imagined before walking through that door today. The kids were amazing and I was peppered with quesitons from where did you park the reindeer to why are you wearing those things over your boots (they were boot covers that went over your shoes). I was very political and handled all the questions with the appropriate tact but the feeling of energy coming of the kids was unreal. Knowing I could have said you are all getting coal for xmas as you have all been very bad kids and having the room erupt in tears was a power I have never experienced. The smiles made it worth every moment though. If you get the opportunty, I urge you to take it and put a smile on a little boy or girls face today.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Starbucks I officially am no longer a patron of your services!

So when I get around to the actual letter I will be sure to post it as well. Today I had my last beverage from Starbucks. Cost aside for a moment, seriously people how fucking difficult is it to follow directions on packaged hot chocolate mix which you pre-make ahead of time....must be pretty fucking tough.

I have attempted to enjoy the Signature Hot Chocolate, which is supposedly their premium HC, around the world...well Canada, the USA and UK. Everywhere I have gone there has been at least one time where it has been screwed up and watered down.

Now maybe it separates in the storage container and the barista is too clueless to shake the container or turn the mixer enough but I would estimate close to 50% of the drinks I have attempted to enjoy have been sub par. The problem is, they make the damn thing too fucking hot to try it out in the store and since I rarely sit still for more than a minute anyways I am usually on my way or in the car already before I get to taste the watered down beverage and am once again disappointed. Kind of like expecting that great xmas present from your grandparents only to get underpants.

In their defense I have received 2 replacements after complaining after the fact but it doesn't make up for the dozens that have been sub par, some have been so bad that they were un-consumable, this has included Los Angeles, London (UK), NY, Las Vegas and of course the KW area. Seriously people if you cannot do it right, stop offering it in the first place.

As Joe Pesci said in one of the Lethal Weapon movies..."they always fuck you at the drive through..." well they fuck you with extra hot drinks you cannot taste before you leave the store as well.

Adios Starbucks, your welcome for the last couple of years!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Mother bitch....I beat you.

Yes folks, her cherry has been popped (that will be explained another time) and no she didn't like it. December 2008 I broke down when we moved and bought a snow blower, best god damn invention....EVER!

No sore back, I can blow the fucking white shit across the street if I wanted to...neighbour wouldn't be impressed though, all Winter 2008/2009 no problems, stored for the summer and all is good.

Check the oil last Tuesday all is good and just in time we get snow. Couple of pushes of the primer, pull and she fires up. Blow my driveway, the neighbour, the neighbour beside her... which I had not intended to do but since they just moved in I wasn't paying attention and blew most of my neighbours snow into their driveway so I thought it would be wise. Then came back to the right of our place and did their driveway as well...yes people 30 minutes total time. That's 30 MINUTES.

She thought she could break me, well I say fuck you mother nature, keep it coming you cannot break me bitch!

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

This so used to be me...more to come on this!

December 8:
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14:
Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.

December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!?! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28:
Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

WTF is with the teens and lack of service skills these days?

Fuck me, I must have been invisible today.

Canadian Tire, I have a socket, bottle of washer fluid and shovel and walk up to the register where the girl is counting CDN tire money. She looks up and back down at her money, the look was almost like she was saying, fuck me another customer great.

I am holding the shovel as I know she needs to scan the bottom and if I lean it bottom up it is going to end up on the ground anyways, what does the bitch do but A. Not even acknowledge me standing there but scans the other 2 items on the counter first then the shovel which by this time is almost wrapped around her scrawny fucking neck. I hand her my CC and finally she says something, "Is there a chip in that?" No there is no fucking chip, take the card and fuck off. I sign the bill and finally another word..."goodbye".

Go to McD's for a quick dinner...well pardon fucking me for showing up at dinner time when you are busy. 8 minutes through the drive through....well done. Anyways to the point, I get to the cash window and have my hand out the window with cash, dude finishes taking the order before he opens the window which I can forgive him for, NO hello, just "Seven forty-eight" No it's not 7:58 you stupid fuck, it's 7:30 but here is $10 anyways...douche. Then a little piece of tail comes up and starts talking to him as he is slowly and I mean slowly, my 4 year old could have made change faster, he starts acknowledging her and literally is looking at her as he is reaching out the window, no $2.42 is your change, no thank you, no good night...I should have grabbed his hand and pulled the little basterd out the window. I say thanks and move to the next window...which he didn't acknowledge the thanks...fucker. Food comes this girl actually acknowledged my existance, like I said it was 8 minutes anyways but that is another issue.

This coupled with the shitty Signature Hot Chocolate I have been getting lately at Starbucks has once again proven there is no respect or committment to actually provide a service these days. Someone step up and straighten these kids out...there has to be an old bastard like me working for these companies that knows this bullshit is going on.....maybe not!